I have had a number of bikes over the years, all of them special - well, apart from the one or two who tried their best to kill me or ruin me financially. Those shall remain anonymous because I don’t want to spoil your journey through motorcycledom!

I have compiled a list with some random thoughts and try to keep it updated. So here, ladies and gentlemen (drum-roll) is my list:

1978 - Kawasaki KH 125 - My first bike I was 15. Build it up myself from a frame and engine I got from some dubious source. Mostly stolen parts I’m sure. Worked on it in my room - I had an outside room. It had a modified car exhaust and drove the neighbours nuts. Couldn’t ride it on the road so within hours of it running there was a track around our house. Had to hold the petrol tank with my knees to keep it from falling off while I was riding. I’d do laps around the house and time myself and the dogs used to love trying to catch me and bite my ankles. Lifted my younger brother on it and he had to lean off when we took corners. We rode it into a tree and broke the frame in two. My dad till this day thinks his prized frangipani tree was hit by lightning!

1979 - Yamaha YB 100 - Aged 16, I had only a 50cc license. My father, also a petrol-head although I didn’t realise it at the time, agreed to buy me a bike - much to my surprise(maybe had something to do with the above bike that had filed-off engine and chassis numbers). Somehow I managed to get a 100cc instead of the 50cc I was legally allowed to ride. So, off came the 100cc badge and on went a 50cc sign made out of black insulation tape. Fooled the cops and needless to say I won most races against the real 50cc’s. Modified the throttle so it worked the wrong way - and had good fun seeing others trying to ride it - remember one idiot biting the dust on a cement driveway (there was sand on it) when he came around the corner and wanted to close the throttle - priceless and I was giggling all the time I repaired the bike. Had my first real crash when I rode it into a car after rugby practice. I can still remember flying through the air, then hitting the ground and sliding into a vibra-crete wall. My little finger was sore because it got trapped between the brake lever and the car. I repaired the bike myself and continued to thrash it. Had my first proper kiss when I pretended to go and show a girl the wreck and she grabbed me.

1981 - Honda XL 250 - I had finally finished school, then got a job for the 6 months before I started my national service in July ‘82 in 6SAI Grahamstown and off-course the first thing I bought was a bike! The XL was a great bike. Didn’t trash it (too much). Learned how not to do ramps and jumps on this bike. Had endless duels with buddies on XR200’s and XT250’s. It got it’s arse whipped most of the time because the old bird wasn’t built for speed. But it looked good in silver and black and I loved it. Had a huge get off while trying to show off at Big Bay by spinning up the rear speedway style, trying to impress the girls. Had to get right back on the bike with blood all over me and ride it out of there as everyone was pissing themselves laughing. Put some Fox stickers on the bike to cover the crash damage. My mom saw me doing a wheelie up the road where we lived. She was doing the dishes and looking through the kitchen window and dropped a dinner plate, then crapped me out when I walked in!

Suzuki PE 250 - Great little bike. Two stroke with a viscous power band making for great fun on and off the road. It always got the better of all the four strokes when we were riding on the dirt. I loved it, but it was slightly impractical as my clothes were always covered in black 2-stroke spots and I smelled like the greek in the fish and chips shop. Off-course to me there was no greater smell but the neighbourhood girls, hard pressed to notice me on a good day, avoided me like the plague. It also required frequent rebuilds and de-carbons etc and I grew tired of the little monster after a while - but my love of 2 strokes remained.

Kawasaki GPZ 1100 - Big. Damn thing even had a fuel gauge! Unbelievable. Didn’t have it for long. First time ever I did 200km/h on a bike. Mine was similar to the one on the pic but was painted in Eddie Lawson replica colours and looked like a million bucks. I don’t really know what possessed me to get a road bike, and sold it after a short while. I think it was the desire to tour and travel farther that made me buy it but my buddies all had dual purpose bikes.

Yamaha IT 490 - Absolute monster. First time I flipped a bike during attempted wheelie and on the tarred road - the power band was simply awesome - it’ll flip you in third gear. Lost a lot of skin as I only had a jersey on (it was the 80’s) - ok a jersey and pants, sheez. The bike took then out a lamppost - hit it about head height and all the cement fell from the reinforcing - the pole looked hilarious. Good thing the lamp post was there as the bike was headed for somebody’s lounge window. It was road legal (had plates and stuff) and I had endless fun on it. Good off-road but frightening on the tar. Loved it.

1984 - Honda XR 500 RE - My second new bike. Just finished my 2 year national service, which I survived unexpectedly, so had a whole lot of living to catch up on and I set about it enthusiastically. Thrashed the poor bike in the process. Rode some enduros with it. Even had it on the Killarney Moto-X track a couple of times but it got hammered every time. Wiped out in front of the packed main stand while trying to ride at an angle over a metal irrigation pipe (fastest wipe out I ever had it, it seemed like someone simply swiped the bike from under me). Man, the people cheered! Then toured on it. Endless trouble with the cops because it was noisy and the number plate was almost horizontal. This bike got me in jail for speeding and trying to do a runner (had to be bailed out). Was also nabbed by the cops in Pretoria while riding it - they took away my license disk so the rest of my journey was diskless - I had to change my plans because of this. When I got home there was a letter of apology waiting for me saying they didn’t have jurisdiction to take a Cape registered bikes disk, so here’s my disk back. I wrote them a letter back saying O, yeah and what about the trip of mine you ruined and, and and…. and they send me a R60 cheque saying that’s what it would have cost me to have the bike re-roadworthied and they’re very sorry! Back then R60 would buy you and your mates an awful lot of booze, so it seemed like a good deal. Met my wife when I was riding it and she went riding with me once or twice but it had home-made rear footpegs so was rather uncomfortable. Her old man hated it and I had to park it up the road. Then it gave the ghost one morning when I tried to start it. Sold it in boxes to a preacher because it dropped a valve and ruined the piston and top, parts to expensive to repair. Learned how to do chicken runs on this bike!

1986 - Suzuki TS 400 - Slow, heavy, stinky 2-stroker. Still have scars from it when it dumped me and trapped my foot under the footpeg - it had metal footpegs with what looked like teeth. Hurt like hell when the doctor had to cut open my foot and get rid of the internal bleeding - and gravel and dirt - and I couldn’t ride for weeks. I used to get itchy all over when riding it from the vibration - it honestly vibrated your feet off the footpegs! Crashed well. Sold it to a farmer for R250. Should have kept it. So I can go and kick it whenever I need some stress relief.

1989 - Honda XL 600 - Endless trouble. A lemon. Difficult, no, impossible to kick start. Turned out to be a XL600 motor in a XL 500 frame or something like that. Obviously crashed and repaired. Worst bike I ever had. Did backflips when I sold it. Absolutely awful. Horrendous. Piece of sh*t. Never should have bought it.

1991 - Vespa PX200 - Don’t ask - I needed a bike and it was all I could afford. Just married and bought a house - no money. Crashed this when I rode into a plant box on the sidewalk while I was looking at bikes in the Illgmann-Frost showroom - wife on the back. We laid on the pavement and cried with laughter. Repaired and continued thrashing it. Henesia and I rode it a lot - even as far as Bettys Bay and Kleinmond - 2 up sometimes with luggage. Reliable but will leave you stranded if you get the petrol/2-stroke mixture wrong. This thing could actually wheelie 2-up! It’s still running - I see it zipping up and down the beachfront often. Now sports a gay paint job and surfboard racks.

1993 - Honda XL 500 - Cheap, second-hand but reliable. Used for commuting and the wife and I rode around on it as I didn’t have a car. She had a Datsun 1200 car but I was rear ended in it on my way to class one night so that was the end of that.

1998 - Suzuki VZ 800 Marauder - My third new bike. Cool bike. Reliable. Met lots of people of the IUB list while I was riding it (Pierre & Jane, Jan, Axel & LadyHawk, Neil & Tony, George & Di, Wolf, Andre & Mariette …). Great bike for social riding. Gave me 70 000 worry and hassle free kilometers in the 3 years I had it.

2000 - Honda GL500 Silverwing - The Smoke Machine, slow but reliable. I bought it because it had a radio/tape which I thought was way cool. Rode it to work but it was frustratingly slow on the highway. Gave it to the estate agent as commission when I bought a flat in Gordons Bay. I still see it riding around and have to grin - it was actually a fun bike. If only it wasn’t so slow. And the suspension squeaked no matter how much Q20 I sprayed. I remember shouting “squeaky!!!, squeeaky!!!” to encourage Andre when he rode it in the slow races at the Daisy Rally. The crowd soon picked up on the chant and he didn’t know where to hide because everyone thought it was his bike!

2001 - Suzuki TL1000R - Fast and frightening. Sold it with 65 000km’s on the clock and had absolutely no problems. It had Laser exhausts on which gave it a booming sound with the odd backfire on the overrun. A wonderful bike and I miss it every time I hear that distinctive sound. Unfortunately I was convinced the bike was out to get me as I had a great number of narrow excapes on it, so was relieved to part with it in one piece.

2003 - Yamaha R1(2001 model) - Totally awesome bike. Gave me 53000 effort and trouble free km’s. I’ll buy another one in a heartbeat. Used some oil but thats normal. Did all the serviceing myself. Great, easy to maintain bike to own. Valve clearances were checked at 30 000km’s and found inside spec.

Present - Yamaha TT600 - Needs some attention - money to the usual address.

2004 - 2007 - 2004 Suzuki GSX-R 750 - an absolute gem of a bike. As fast as my carburetted R1. Awesome on track. Bit tiring on the daily commute. Easy to ride fast and easier on the pocket than a thousand.

2007 -present - Suzuki DR650SE. Off course I miss the power and speed but this bike opened up a whole new world to me. Check out the Travelling Salesman gallery.